Note: if you don’t read all the way through this post before jumping to put in your application, you may indeed be in danger of being gobsmacked (image: Clint Bohn, Creative Commons).
Job hunters with a yen for clean speak might find this interesting:
Director of Communications, the Ronald Wilson Reagan Hand Sanitizer Project, Washington, DC
Foundation seeks Director of Communications to develop and implement strategic goal of having every hand sanitizer in the United States named after Our Greatest President while promoting healthy habits. Duties include strategic planning across all 50 states and US territories; lobbying on Capitol Hill; op-eds; news releases; event planning; social media; and coordination with industry manufacturers and distributors. With your support, every hand sanitizer in every office, restaurant, medical facility and sports complex will bear the name of The Great Communicator. Resume and Party Affiliation to: RWRSP, The Ronald Reagan Building, 1776 Ronald Reagan Avenue, Washington (Reagantown name change pending), DC 20086.
On the other hand, if you’re going through social media rehab, this might appeal to you:
Communications Specialist, Campaign Against Butt-Dialing, Foggy Bottom, DC