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Answers

to 10 frequently asked questions that I never have the presence of mind to come up with (the answers, not the questions).

So I decided to write them down, Letterman style.

Number 10

I have no idea how to get your cat down from the tree. I ran public relations for an animal welfare organization, not rescue services.

Number 9

What can you do for me? For starters, pay my mortgage, get me a BMW… oh, I see. That was a rhetorical question.

Number 8

Since I grew up in Kolkata with 14,999,999 other people, no, San Francisco doesn’t seem very large to me.

Number 7

“Curry” is a spice blend, a leaf and South Asian dishes that are made with gravy. Please read up on your definitions before you tell me you “don’t like curry.”

Number 6

Since I grew up in Kolkata with 14,999,999 other people, no, DC doesn’t seem very large to me.

Number 5

Let me Google that for you.

Number 4

Your desperation for my Freecycle‘d item has no bearing on who gets it. “First come, first served,” means just that.

Number 3

If you don’t know which blog(s) I write for, why did you pitch me?

Number 2

I’d rather not “feel free” to pass your resume around when I don’t know you, if it’s all the same to you. Perhaps you could get to know me first?

Number 1

Thank you, your English is quite good too. Where did you learn to speak it?

What can I say?

Once in a while I get cranky.

What’s your spice on demand for when you get cranky?

Image: opus moreschi via Flickr, CC 2.0

Some great cranky reads/views, if you’re in the mood:

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