to 10 frequently asked questions that I never have the presence of mind to come up with (the answers, not the questions).

So I decided to write them down, Letterman style.

Number 10

I have no idea how to get your cat down from the tree. I ran public relations for an animal welfare organization, not rescue services.

Number 9

What can you do for me? For starters, pay my mortgage, get me a BMW… oh, I see. That was a rhetorical question.

Number 8

Since I grew up in Kolkata with 14,999,999 other people, no, San Francisco doesn’t seem very large to me.

Number 7

“Curry” is a spice blend, a leaf and South Asian dishes that are made with gravy. Please read up on your definitions before you tell me you “don’t like curry.”

Number 6

Since I grew up in Kolkata with 14,999,999 other people, no, DC doesn’t seem very large to me.

Number 5

Let me Google that for you.

Number 4

Your desperation for my Freecycle‘d item has no bearing on who gets it. “First come, first served,” means just that.

Number 3

If you don’t know which blog(s) I write for, why did you pitch me?

Number 2

I’d rather not “feel free” to pass your resume around when I don’t know you, if it’s all the same to you. Perhaps you could get to know me first?

Number 1

Thank you, your English is quite good too. Where did you learn to speak it?

What can I say?

Once in a while I get cranky.

What’s your spice on demand for when you get cranky?

Image: opus moreschi via Flickr, CC 2.0

Some great cranky reads/views, if you’re in the mood:

Shonali Burke
Founder and publisher of Waxing UnLyrical, Shonali Burke helps smart businesses make bank by taking their communications from corporate codswallop to community cool™. She is also the founder of The Social PR Virtuoso®, which provides online, on-demand training that helps you unleash your inner Social PR superhero. Shonali is mad about ABBA, bacon, cooking, dogs, and Elvis, though not necessarily in that order. Wouldn't you like to be in her kitchen?
Shonali Burke