the guruI couldn’t help but giggle when I read B. L. Ochman’s recent post on self-proclaimed social media experts, gurus, ninjas, etc. on Twitter “multiplying like rabbits.” Based on her search of Twitter bios, they went from 4.4k to almost 16k in seven months.

Wow. Rabbits indeed!

And then I saw this cartoon from HubSpot today.

At the same time, I couldn’t help but recall Lisa Hoffmann‘s post from earlier this year, when she posited that “if social media experts aren’t experts only the charlatans will be ‘experts.'” It sparked a great conversation on her blog, which you should read, if you haven’t as yet.

I do believe, however, that while expertise is earned, the title of expert is bestowed.

You Can Call Yourself a Social Media Guru If…

So, as far as I’m concerned, here are the top 10 things you’ll need to be able to do before calling yourself a social media guru. Counting down, now…

10. Make the sun rise in the West.

9. Along those lines, how about making the earth orbit the moon (thanks, Chip Griffin, for this one).

8. Speak Sanskrit backwards and forwards at the same time. (You’re calling yourself a guru, after all, gotta show some respek to the land from whence that term comes.)

7. Prove global warming.

6. Disprove global warming.

5. Leap tall buildings in a single bound.

4. Levitate on demand. Mine.

3. Get Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston back together again.

2. Make the Cubs win the World Series (direct your tomatoes to Colby Gergen for this gem, please).

And at #1 is:

1. Bring Elvis back from the dead. And no, the TCB concerts don’t count.

And When You Do…

… Please let me know so that I can sign up to worship at your altar?

Top image: secretlondon123 via Flickr, CC 2.0

Shonali Burke
Founder and publisher of Waxing UnLyrical, Shonali Burke helps purpose-driven brands bring big ideas to life. She teaches at The Johns Hopkins University, has gone back to school herself with the Harvard Business Analytics Program, and is creator/lead instructor at The Social PR Virtuoso® online training hub , where ambitious PR pros learn how to unleash their inner Social PR superheroes. Owned by Lola the Basset Hound, she's mad about ABBA, bacon, cooking, dogs, and Elvis, though not necessarily in that order. Wouldn't you like to be in her kitchen?
Shonali Burke